What Forgiveness is Not

Forgiving someone that has hurt you is tough.  Here is RT Kendall’s list of what forgiveness is not, along with a few comments of my own.

What Forgiveness is NOT:

1.  You Don’t Have To Approve of What They Did: Jesus forgave the adulterous woman, but he didn’t approve of what she did.  He also forgives us, but he doesn’t approve of what we do.  We don’t have to say “it’s ok.”  They hurt you so it’s not “ok,” but you still have to make the choice to forgive in the face of their wrong.

2.  It’s Not Making Excuses For Them: They hurt you.  You don’t have to say, “It’s how they were raised” or “I deserved it.”

3.  Don’t Justify What They Did: God never tries to justify our sin.  There is no excuse for what we do, yet he chooses to forgive.

4.  Don’t Pardon Them:  Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you don’t testify against them if what they did was a crime.  We can forgive them, yet they may still have to face consequences for their actions.

5.  You Can Forgive Without Reconciling:  Forgiveness is not required for both sides.  You aren’t responsible for their attitude. If they have hard feelings against you, that’s out of your control. You are only responsible for you.  Also, if they are still intent on continuing their pattern of sin against you, you may have to draw boundaries and keep them at a distance.  The point is to get rid of your bitterness towards them, not necessarily to invite to your birthday party if they continue their pattern of transgression.

6.  Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Denying What They Did: Love keeps no record of wrong but it doesn’t deny that there was a wrong committed.

7.  You Can’t Forgive and Forget:  We are human.  We remember.  The challenge is that when we do remember, we make the choice to forgive.  This may be on a daily or even hourly basis at firt.

Total forgiveness is often not possible without God’s help.  Maybe your prayer should be “I forgive them God.  Help me to forgive them.”  Bitterness will affect your health, relationships with others, and your relationship with God.  Holding on to bitterness and unforgiveness hurts us more than it does the person that we are bitter against.

Forgiving the Jerks in Our Life

An old friend and I were driving down the road recently when he asked me a question that I had to think about.  There was a mutual “friend” that was really a jerk to me years ago.  I really haven’t seen or thought much about this guy, good or bad, for several years.

The question that my friend asked me was, “Eddie, did you ever forgive Bob”  I really had to think alot about his question.  Bob hasn’t even been on my radar for years.

My immediate answer was “yes,” I had forgiven Bob, but it really made me think.  Was that the truth?

How do you know if you have really forgiven someone?  People talk about “forgiving and forgetting.”  Even though I had seemingly forgotten, did I still have unforgiveness in my heart?

RT Kendall says in his book “Total Forgiveness,” that one way to determine if you have REALLY forgiven is if you wish them well.  That doesn’t mean that you invite them over for Christmas dinner or go on vacation with them.   It doesn’t mean that you buy them a birthday present.  You may still have to draw your boundaries, but we all have to let go of unforgiveness if we are to grow in our relationship with God.

We can’t even get away from it when we pray the Lord’s Prayer.  Jesus taught us to pray, “Forgive us as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  Wow!  I want God to forgive me better and quicker than I forgive others.

We’re all forgiven much, so we do need to forgive others too.  Hey Bob!  I wish you well!

Why is it hard to forgive some people?

Gospel for Dummies

I’ve heard people say that if you get two Christians together you’ll have three opinions. Seems, those who follow Christ disagree on alot of things. There’s the sprinkler crowd and the dunking crowd. You have the “once saved always save” people and the “slip up and you’re going to hell” people. Some like music loud. Others like it boring… I mean more mellow. (See what I mean!)

We can disagree on alot of things but Jesus really simplified things when He was asked about the most important commandment. This is what He said:

Matthew 22: 36″Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37Jesus replied: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

This is the Gospel for Dummies. Put in one of those yellow and black books and it would only be a couple of pages long. Two Steps: 1. Love God 2. Love other People

LOVE GOD
If we’re honoring God with EVERYTHING and EVERY area in our lives, we’re taking the first step. This doesn’t include a “tip of the hat” to God and then going our own way. He’s serious about wanting a relationship with us. Even Satan “believes” in God.

LOVE OTHERS
Put others needs above your own needs. Most everyone loves those that are easy to love. What about those that make it hard for us to love them. That’s what separates the “men from the boys” … or is it the “sheep from the goats?” God has called us to love and that love flows from God, through us, to others when we walk in Christ.

The Gospel for Dummies… I’m one of God’s slow kids. Not always fast to catch on to things. I’m glad He made it easy to understand. Love God, #1 Love Others, #2   We can disagree on alot of things, but these two steps are something that hopefully, we can all agree on!  Do you agree?

Closer To Pre-Launch!

I’m excited, nervous, pumped, in awe… all at the same time!  Our first Pre-Launch Experience is less than 30 days away.  There is still LOTS to do but we’re hard at work.  I’m just amazed that God is allowing me to be involved in everything, much less lead it!

Here are a few things that you probably don’t know:

• We will be meeting at Elzie Patton Elementary School in the heart of Mt. Juliet
• We are part of the LifeChurch.tv Network of Churches that had over 40,000 people connected this past Easter, watching the same message
• LifeChurch.tv is responsible for developing “youversion.com,” which is Bible software that is catching on FAST.  Presently, it is loaded onto 1 out of every 27 iPhones.

I hope you can make it to our first Worship Experience at Elzie Patton.  Our hour long Worship Experience will begin at 10:00 a.m.

Mark your calendars for all four Pre-Launch Worship Experiences:  September 13, October 18, November 22, and December 20.

Thanks for Praying!

Eddie

Beyond Religion

To reach people that no one else is reaching, we have to do things that no one else is doing. Craig Groschel recently made that statement and I believe that he’s right on. LifeChurch is really leading the way in reaching people all over the world through the new internet campus, “youversion” Bible for your phone, and network campuses (Including LifeChurch of Mt. Juliet). God is moving through LifeChurch and I’m just blessed to be a small part of what God is doing through LifeChurch.

As we put effort locally into reaching people that no one else is reaching, we have established some core values. We are committed to living LIFE beyond religion. People can be religious about a lot of things. LIFE is about relationships, not religion. We want to go beyond where we have been in the past.

Below are some statements that describe how we want to measure ourselves:

Excellence

Beyond doing church as a check on our list….
to giving it all we’ve got because that’s what God deserves.

We value excellence because we believe that whatever a Christ follower puts his hand to do should be completed with excellence.
Colossians 3:17

Community

Beyond superficial Sunday masks….
to REALLY doing life together

We value relationships. We believe that two are better than one and a community is even better! John explains that people should know that we are Christ-Followers because of the love we have for each other. We place a large value on community in small groups and encourage every attender to join a group. Small groups are the first line of care within our body.
Acts 2:41-47

Authenticity

Beyond the masks of religion and society….
to being honest with each other.

The world hates posers. We believe in being real. As we take off our masks, we say “be who you are.” Everyone falls short of God’s standards and we there is enough pretending in the world. We need to be real with each other as believers in Christ. That’s how we help each other in our journey to being more like Jesus.
James 5:16
Luke 18:9-14

Kingdom Growth

Beyond Growing only our church…..
to caring about Growing the Kingdom.

Jesus gave us our mission. We are called make disciples. We will do about anything short of sin to win someone to the Lord.

We are in this for the Kingdom. We see other Bible believing churches as teammates and not as the competition. We will also invest in starting new churches.
Matthew 28:18-20

Personal Growth

Beyond Fire Insurance….
to allowing Christ to impact every aspect of our lives.

We believe that salvation is more than just saying a prayer. The prayer is the birth of a believer and the beginning of a journey walking with Jesus. It’s not the end. It’s a new beginning. We know that people aren’t perfect, but messy, yet we are walking with each other towards God.
II Corinthians 5:17

Missions

Beyond Selfishness…
to caring about those in need.

We believe that God saved us for more than just to transform our lives from smoking, cursing, and not going to R movies. We believe that God wants us to impact our world, beginning in Mt. Juliet and going to the rest of the planet.
Philippians 2:3

God Loves You and You’re Going To Hell

I thought the title of this post would get your attention.  It sounds harsh, but that is the message many Christians send to the unchurched.  Though it is true in many cases, it’s not the way to win friends and influence people.

Many verses in God’s Word have guided Marla and I through the years, but one verse has remained constant as the key to our ministry life.  I Thessalonians 2:8 says, “We were delighted to share with you, not only the Gospel of Christ but our very lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.” That pretty much sums up our goal in life.

My life’s passion is to make it very hard for people around me to go to hell but I believe there is much more to that than simply getting in people’s faces and screaming in their face, “GOD LOVES YOU AND YOU’RE GOING TO HELL”. (That’s one reason some secular people believe “evangelical = Christians who hate people”.)  I believe and have learned that as we get involved in people’s lives and truly love them, they will eventually allow us to Christ with them.

Once I actually told a non-believing friend, “I will always be praying that you will get to know Jesus, but if you never accept Christ, you will always be my friend.”  That statement let my friend know that he meant more to me than just another “notch on my Bible.”  He matters to me.  The old chiche is true:  People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Not many Christians would disagree with their lips that reaching people for Christ is important, but their lives speak a different message.  According to Barna, only 12% of Christians will lead someone to Christ in their lives. How can that be if Christ is truly number one in a believer’s life?  Churched people become so involved in their church that they forget that there are people outside the church.

The first step in sharing your life is often becoming friends.  It’s not a forced thing when you really care about those who don’t know Christ.  Just take time to get a cup of coffee, take a walk, or go with them and the kids to a ballgame.  Just live your life with others, be their friend, and share Christ along the way.

In what ways have you met friends outside of the church?  What else comes to mind when you read this?

Lion Chasers Manifesto

I ran across the “Lion Chaser Manifesto” today by Mark Batterson. I’ve read it countless times and every time I read it I am convicted to live with more passion and purpose in my life. I hope it is half as encouraging to you as it is to me.

“Quit living as if the purpose of life is to arrive safely at death. Set God-sized goals. Pursue God-ordained passions. Go after a dream that is destined to fail without divine intervention. Keep asking questions. Keep making mistakes. Keep seeking God. Stop pointing out problems and become part of the solution. Stop repeating the past and start creating the future. Stop playing it safe and start taking risks. Expand your horizons. Accumulate experiences. Consider the lilies. Enjoy the journey. Find every excuse you can to celebrate everything you can. Live like today is the first day and last day of your life. Don’t let what’s wrong with you keep you from worshipping what’s right with God. Burn sinful bridges. Blaze a new trail. Criticize by creating. Worry less about what people think and more about what God thinks. Don’t try to be who you’re not. Be yourself. Laugh at yourself. Quit holding out. Quit holding back. Quit running away. Chase the lion!”

Now go out and pursue God and all that He has for you today!

No Use Crying Over Spilled Skittles

The other day in the grocery store I saw a child that was being very overly dramatic. He had spilled his Skittles and was not happy about that. Well, I would be pretty upset too if I spilled my Skittles, but this child really took it hard. There began crying and gnashing of teeth that was a bit on the ridiculous side.

At that point that’s when I heard the words from his mom, “I’m going to give you something to cry about if you don’t chill out!”

I know that God isn’t the  “give us something to cry about” type, but I wonder what he thinks when He sees us get so jacked up about such minor things like we do sometimes, like this kid with the Skittles.  Let’s make it a point to “be patient and bear one another in love” as Ephesians 4:2 says. That will save us from looking so goofy by getting upset at the slightest inconveniences.

The kid probably did need a lesson taught to him at that moment and a warm bottom would probably have helped the situation, but as I reflect, I think we believers need a lesson taught sometimes too.  As adult believers, we get upset too often about minor things like this kid and his Skittles.

Every once in a while we are inconvenienced and sometimes it just ruins our day. Maybe someone pulls out in front of us when we’re in a hurry or the checker at Kroger is slow, even though we rushed to the shortest line. Whatever it is, it puts us in a rotten mood and we feel like the world is against us. It’s amazing how we miss God’s finger prints in our lives because our hearts get in the wrong place so easily.  I had a college roommate that used to ask, “Will this even matter or will I remember it in a year?”  If the answer is “no,” take a “chill pill.”

Remember, if you spill your Skittles it’s a pain but it’s not the end of the world! I might even share some of mine with you if you ask nicely.

Every 24 is a Gift

Someone asked me today, “How are you doing?” Sounds simple enough.  Sometimes, I’m not sure if people really want the real answer when they ask or not. I think most of the time it’s just what you say when you see someone and want to be friendly, but let’s think about it here for a minute.

None of us are promised tomorrow. James 4:14 says, “14 How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.”

I had a friend tell me yesterday that someone he knew, 43 years old and in great shape, suddenly said “my chest is hurting.” He went to the bathroom at work and died of a heart attack. We never know when our time will be over.

Morgan was a 16 year old girl that I knew from Tallahassee. Morgan served God and was full of life. She had a long life planned, but suddenly she was killed last month in a car wreck. We never know when it will be our time to meet God. (BTW, hug your kids an extra time today.)

I don’t say all of this to be morbid, but just a reminder that we aren’t here on earth for very long. Let’s not use our limited time to complain, argue, or grumble. It’s important that we use our time here to serve God in a positive way and love those around us unconditionally. Let’s not reach the end with regrets that we wish we had….. You can fill in the blank.

When someone asks how you are doing today, think about all of your blessings before you answer. Any day that we’re breathing is a gift from God. Let’s make the most of each gift of 24 hours that He gives us.

Good News/Bad News

GOOD NEWS: Denny’s is offering FREE Grand Slam Breakfast to anyone between 6:00 a.m. & 2:00 p.m.
BAD NEWS: All of the Denny’s in Nashville have closed.

I saw the ad and got excited! I thought, “Maybe I could take my son, Matthew. He loves Breakfast” After seeing the ad, I quickly got out my computer, went to the Denny’s website, and hit “Find Locations.” To my lament and dismay, the closest Denny’s to Nashville that is still in business is in Bowling Green, Kentucky. What a let down… What a disappointment…. I thought my ship had finally come in and then… sniff …. there are no Denny’s in the area to fulfill the promise of the free meal.

It makes me think of what I hear alot today about Christians. People are hurting and they need a kind word or help. Sometimes they look to Christians and we don’t quite deliver what we promise either. Is the Christian life really all about meeting on Sundays, singing a few Chris Tomlin songs, hearing an inspiring message, and then hanging out with our Christian friends? There has to be more to it. The Bible says that the early believers were known for their love. I’m examining myself. I encourage you to do the same.

Recently I heard Henry Blackaby, author of “Experiencing God” speak at my church. One thing that he said has stuck in my brain. Henry said, “People keep saying that there is too much darkness in the world today. If there is too much darkness, the problem isn’t the darkness. The problem is with the light. It’s not shining bright enough.” ugh… Could he be talking about me?

Are you letting Christ shine in your life and delivering what your label, “Christian,” promises to the hurting? Let’s be real. Go out of your comfort zone and be who God has called us to be.

BTW, can someone save me some toast from their Denny’s breakfast?